I wrote this post on GCSE day. I have waited until I was ready to share it in the hope it helps somebody.
There are times as a mum of a medically complex young lady like Ruby really sucks. GCSE results day was one of those times. It was a day full of nerves and excitement as I spoke to work colleagues and wished them well for their children and we all went about our day. I thought nothing of it until I saw a friends post of her daughter getting her results and then it hit. We’d been pregnant at the same time. It was an unexpected moment of gut-wrenching realisation that GCSE day could have been Ruby’s results day. Only it wasn’t. From nowhere tears poured down my face and I was sobbing. Ruby hasn’t sat any exams or been to a leaving prom or any of the usual things a 16-year-old does at the end of year 11. I knew this so I was shocked at my own reaction. To be honest it’s an achievement if Ruby is well enough to make it into school. I’m not sure why I hadn’t realised before. I guess as GCSE’s aren’t something we think about in Ruby’s daily life. I know its grief that I felt and sadness for my girl, that this milestone was not one she had experienced.
I guess the point of me sharing this with you is to say that it’s ok. It’s ok to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself.
You know where we are if you need us.